An ASHI Inspector Walked Into a Bar

An ASHI Inspector walked into a bar and ask the bartender for a glass of
water. Instead the bartender showed him the InterNACH benefits page,
forum activity… and education page.!

The ASHI Inspector said THANK YOU and left.


**ANSWER - The ASHI Inspector was looking for a cure for his hiccups.
By showing him all the InterNACHI benefits, the bartender shocked the
Inspector so bad that his hiccups were gone!


Contest… I will paypal you $20 for the best Inspector Joke. It does not
have to be about another association, but does need to be about a home
inspector. Keep it clean (in case any kids read this thread). I will select
the two best jokes, in my opinion, and we will all vote on them to select
the winner. This is just for fun. Anyone can be part of this.

What has 50 legs and two teeth? The front row of a ASHI convention.

what does a home inspector use for birth control? His personality

What do ASHI Inspectors and Trump supporters have in common ?

They are all easily led and live in the past.

Great one :smiley:

Bo hiss baaaa

Keep em coming. :slight_smile:

Ooh ooh ooh

How do you stop an ashi member from drowning?

take your foot off their face!

how can you tell your on a date with a pilot, volunteer firefighter or a HI?

Don’t worry, they will remind you every two mins!

Little Johnny goes to school with his cat, teacher ask him… Johnny why did you bring your cat to school? I heard my Ashi inspector dad talking to my mom saying: "When Johnny goes to school I’ll eat that p***y!


How is a female ASHI member like a hockey team ?
They both take showers after the 3rd period

Why wasn’t Christ born at an ASHI convention?
They couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin

A real estate agent, a mortgage broker and a home inspector walk into a bar.
They all order a whiskey and coke.

The Real Estate agent looks at his drink, and proclaims “look at the magnificent color, and the way is sparkles. This drink is sure to bring you happiness and satisfaction.”

The mortgage broker looks at his drink and says “I like the way the drink goes all the way to the very top of glass, maximizing the space in the glass, all for one easy low single payment.”

The home inspector looks at his drink and says “I noticed there was a receptacle behind the bar that wasn’t GFCI compliant”. :mrgreen:

Cartoon humor is OK for this contest as well. Keep it clean.

We will select a winner on Monday.

A agent walks into the bar after a inspection
And ask the Bartender whats the difference between a porcupine and a home inspector truck. Bartenders say’s i don’t know what is the difference ,Agent says, the pricks are on the inside of the inspector’s truck .

This is my favorite one:

*How many home inspectors does it take to screw in a light bulb via an inspection forum?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

Five to flame the spell checkers.

Three to correct spelling/grammar flames.

Six to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” …

Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.

Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”.

Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

Four to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”

Thirteen to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”

Three to tell a funny story about their chickens and a light bulb.

One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.*

LOL! this ^ has got my vote so far!
And one to send nasty gram private messages about your mother because you spelled it lightbulb. :mrgreen: