Funny Complaints

That “left the heat” Complaint:
Once I received a complaint from a very angry and belligerent home owner who accused me of leaving his heat on a high temperature setting. I explained to him that wasn’t possible because I ALWAYS and ONLY set the thermostat a couple of degrees above the current temperature to avoid complaints. Well, of course, then I was accusing him of being a liar. So, I offered to pay for the difference in his electric bill. After gathering the necessary information to calculate the actual additional cost of an afternoon’s heat at a higher than normal setting, I politely asked him, “And where would you like me to send your check for 79 cents?” The next thing I heard was cursing and a dial tone. After pondering the whole situation I realized that , I hadn’t even inspected his house! I inspected a house two doors down and while waiting for my clients to arrive had put a brochure in his mailbox because his house was on the market. Lucky me! - Michael Bryan, MGB Inspection Service, Inc. also posted on the serendipity page of

I haven’t had it that bad. However, last week I received a complaint that I didn’t inspect the chimney or fireplace. I walked him throught the 4 pictures and 1-1/2 pages in his report discussing both of these. He got pissy and tried to blame me for being TOO discriptive and that is why he didn’t notice the reporting of these items. Go figure! :shock:

Put a dollar in his mailbox with a note that states how sorry you are for the confusion :mrgreen:

Man, I hate complainers.

It’s always the Seller that wants something for free, mostly because the damn deal (on their home) fell through.

I had a Seller call me and told me that he wanted me to replace an exterior storm window that I broke on second floor. He stated that when I placed my ladder against the side of the house, that my ladder had hit the storm window and broke it.
I told him that I did not utilize a ladder on his home as the roof inspection was completed from the ground with binoculars. He started screaming and using foul language, so I simply told him to have his attorney contact me for further questioning.

Never heard from him again…

I have had a realtor want their money back for the sign I made for the house they were selling because the house sold so fast they didn’t get their moneys worth. ummm ok. Isn’t that what the sign did? Sell the house?

The case that caused me to cut waaaay back on my litigation cases went like this.

Clients hired a PR firm to do a couple of things. One was to conduct a strategic PR campaign to get the company known in its market place. The other was to design a logo.

So, they contracted to pay $2,500/month for the PR campaign for twelve months and made a separate contract for the logo.

They hated all of the designs that the PR firm had created and refused to pay the $27,000 that had been billed for the logo design. So the PR firm sued.

They came to me.

I told them that the case was defensible and that purely as a strategic move they should file a counterclaim to get back the $30,000 paid for the PR campaign.

Anyway the case proceeds and document discovery is taken [but no depositions] and the case eventually comes up for arbitration - in Pennsylvania, all claims for $50,000 or less must go to arbitration, first. Anyway the clients are obsessive compulsive and bring every piece of paper having anything to do with this matter to court with them.

As I’m listening to the plaintiff’s testimony - since there were no depositions, this is especially critical - the wife keeps tugging on my sleeve and handing me notes. Needless to say the notes were not even remotely germane to any issue in the case. Who knows what testimony I missed?

Most memorable testimony had to do with the design of the logos which really were quite unimaginative. One of the designers had testified how much work had gone into the design and on cross-examination I said “And anyone with $695 and Quark Express could do the same thing, correct?” The guy says “Yes.”

When it came to our case, I put the husband on the stand and the wife again starts handing me documents from the voluminous files that they brought with them. I steadfastly refused to put any of the documents into the case.

Finally, the case concluded and we returned to the parking garage. I detected a distinct maybe-we-should-have-hired-a-different-attorney vibe. So I asked if anything was the matter.

“Joe, you didn’t put any of those documents into evidence.” So I explain the difference between testimonial evidence and documentary evidence, saying “If you get the evidence in through oral testimony, you do not need the document.” Left unsaid was “because you don’t want an arbitration panel poring over documents looking for a way to rule against you.”

They left unmollified for their ride back to Virginia.

That was on Friday. On Tuesday, I got the Report And Award from the arbitrators.

I call the clients and say “I have good news and bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?”

“We lost the case and they ruled against us on the counterclaim.”

“What’s the good news?”

“They awarded a dollar.”


Me: “Is something wrong?”

Client: “We were kind of hoping to get something on the counterclaim.”

When I told opposing counsel that story, he said “You’re kidding. You won!”