Funny Sayings

I’m curious about some of the funniest things your home owners or clients have said during a Home Inspection.

A home owner recently said to me, “The attic hatch? Oh yeah, I think that’s in the basement.”

Or: I commented that obstructing the microwave vents is not a recommended practice. “Oh? We’ve already had a fire in there.”

I commented on a VERY bad wood stove which had a hole in the side and very dangerous. I told the home owner not to EVER use it again. She said to me, “Don’t worry, we won’t use it until next weekend.”


do you need to look in ALL the rooms?


yes sir, I do (trying to be a straight faced as possible, but thinking, really?)

The dishwasher is broken and has leaked all over the floor like 10 times. Since I told you, you don’t need to report it right??

Be careful up there (in the attic), there may be a raccoon in there:shock:

just have some of the guys over and make a pot a chili for them- you guys could replace that roof in a few hours!

Stated by an irate seller: "So what if there is a shingled over opening at the roof decking. Who is ever going to go on the roof—other than you? "

I got to the house for a radon set and was chatting with the sellers. He wanted to show me the attic opening and the fireplace blower controls, trying to be helpful for when I come back for the inspection. The mother lived with them…sweet old lady grabbed me by the arm and said, “I want to show you a few things too” She started tellin me how you had to wiggle the toilet handle to get it to flush, To hit a light switch to get it to work, and about 3 other defects. The daughters face turnd bright red and she just started shaking her head. I said, thank you and told her at least they are all simple fixes:D

Used house salesman said:
“This is an “as is” sale, your client will not be able to negotiate for all those issues in your report”. My response was: " I work for my client. Maybe you should have convinced my client to use one of your Retard Check inspectors. Their reports might satisfy you, but I work for my clients.

On an inspection a few years ago, the foundation had significant crack at all four corners that was definate foundation movement. The realtor told me I was nitpicking.

Just recently (about a week ago) I was looking up in a basement above the drop ceiling. They had about 15 recessed lights the old work type of rough ins simple cut and supported by only the tiles…:shock: Not tied or fastened to anything. Also a few floating (not in a box) wire splices with actual Johnson and Johnson Band aids and no wire nuts :shock: The seller called me after hearing about my write up in my report and asked me where I get off commenting on those items as they have been that way and working for over 8 years since He installed them and never had a problem?..:roll::shock: