InterNACHI dead?... the day I thought ASHI dropped the bomb on InterNACHI.

There it was in today’s mail, just lying there under my Victoria Secrets catalogue. The big ASHI logo on a postcard, staring at me lie a one-eyed snake. I knew the day would come. The day ASHI taps me on the shoulder and says “Nice run Nick, but it’s all over.” I suspected the day had to come sooner or later. I carried the postcard into the dining room and laid it in the middle of the table with big ASHI logo still facing up. For years ASHI had lost ground by treating its members like just another number (no benefits whatsoever). The front of this postcard, designed to be a slap in the face to its members, depicted a movie theatre “Admit One” ticket on a background of numbers. Surely if they were so cocky as to spit in the face of their own members with this “You’re just another number at ASHI” theme on the front of this post card, it must only be because the back of the postcard announced something so fantastic that it would make every inspector join them anyway. I couldn’t bare the thought of turning it over to learn what the inspection world would be from now on, but I knew it would be a totally new world. None of that old, stupid “We did something in 1976” bull ****". I tried to turn it over to read it but my hands were trembling. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t do it. I knew that ASHI couldn’t possibly be sleeping all these years, watching as InterNACHI gobbled up the whole industry, the whole world for that matter. ASHI certainly was secretly working, working to get it all back from InterNACHI in one big swoop. What could it be? What did we miss? What did we forget? We built the best inspection association in the world, thousands of websites, hundreds of millions of hits, a huge message board, chapters in 43 countries and 9 languages, free online education, a commercial SOP, free websites for members, free hosting, free online inspection agreements, a sister indoor air quality association, a sister online TV show, an automated phone notification system, books dedicated to promoting InterNACHI members, promotions in 50,000 retail outlets, booths at hundreds of shows, insurance discounts, software discounts, search engine optimization, legal forms and help, tons of free stuff, a free report uploading system,, a huge mall full of deals and free stuff for inspectors, marketing tools the likes of which have never been seen! What did we forget? Perhaps they were going to release 2,000 saved up membership benefits all in one day, doubling our 1,000 free membership benefits. My heart was pounding louder. I poured myself a stiff drink and then another and then another. My heart was racing faster and faster. My face was white. My head was dripping with sweat. What had they been working on? It was time to find out. Time to see what we we’re up against. Time to find out what it was they were announcing that would keep me working day and night to catch up. There would be no time off this year. No sleep. No food (well, maybe some food ). I sat down. I knew this had to be the near knock-out punch… not that old “ASHI was established by a dedicated group of home inspectors back in 1976” crap that no one cares about. This would be the future, not the past. So I sat down, took a deep breath, let it out… and I did it. I turned the postcard over and read the big new announcement that would change everything from here on out. It read:

“ASHI was established by a dedicated group of home inspectors back in 1976”


Oh well, I’m 1/2 drunk now and laughing MAO at myself for getting all worked up over nothing. It’s Saturday… I think I’ll go out and celebrate.

InterNACHI… resistance is futile



You are hilarious. You had me in suspense, until I finally got to the end of your post.

With your off-time and abilities to keep people in suspense, I recommend you write a book.


I got the same post card from ASHI… so I treated it like junk mail.

I recently went to an advanced marketing class (no names will be mentioned). When they got to the part about marketing on the internet (and not just passing out flyers to realtors) they said to put up a nice web page. That was it.

Feeling stunned and short changed, I ask privately as to the best method of getting some hits to my web site. The answer was that I should join ASHI. Again, I was stunned at the total dinosaur approach these people had. I left with the feeling that I had just wasted my money and will never make that mistake again.

BTW… I get more hits on my web site by accident, than these guys get all year.

I swear I would join ASHI if they could produce one tangible benefit I could see that would justify it… but I cannot find it… and iNACHI makes it even harder to find one.

I think I’m spoiled.

Nick your nuts! :slight_smile:

That was too funny!

When I got mine in the mail I said “Where did they get my name from?”, but for them to send it to you!

Is this aggressive or HOPEFUL marketing?

Nick, your post sums it all up why iNACHI is for me.
Someone comes up with a wild @ss idea or need and iNACHI makes it happen! All for less than $1 a day!

dont do it Nick… stay with us… we’ll reduce your membership to $250 (for one year) if you stay with us…


No offense, but I knew your post was a hoax from the 2nd sentence.

When you spoke about putting it in the center of your dining room table, it confirmed my suspicion. You see, I actually SAT with you at your dining room table. You’ve got so mujch InterNACHI stuff going on, there would be NO ROOM at that table for an ASHI postcard…

When you stated that you were trembling, I started laughing. Never happen…

Rename this thread “Postcards from the Edge”

I would prefer “Postcards from the Fringe” “Edge” could be mistakenly be interpreted as something good!

I threw in the line that read:

“There would be no time off this year. No sleep. No food (well, maybe some food ).”

…as a clue to show that I was just kidding around. I did have a few drinks in me when I was typing it but I was laughing so hard it took me about 1/2 an hour to make the post. :smiley:

Even funnier, ASHI no doubt bought Nicks inspector address list for $3000.00 for their mass mailing. Surely ASHI must have known most of us would use the post card for kindling in the fireplace…

It looks like a $280 Golden Ticket to Nowhere.

Damm, where’s my postcard??!
Nick, you’re great. from this post, back to the day 5 years ago when you called me from PA when I was still in Colorado. I’d already researched them all, & decided NACHI was for me.
I sent you an email, and you actually called me - Wow, I thought, that’s customer service!!
In retrospect, maybe it was your 3rd tumbler of the evening . . .:wink:
Anyway, I was hooked. Looking forward to more of your demented humor later this week, as I arrive in Boulder . . .
Stay well, and thirsty!

Not everyone finds me funny. The message board dilutes inflection.

:d :d :d :d :d

Are the Golden tickets like the ones in “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory?” Do all of us who received the golden tickets get a free tour?