There it was in today’s mail, just lying there under my Victoria Secrets catalogue. The big ASHI logo on a postcard, staring at me lie a one-eyed snake. I knew the day would come. The day ASHI taps me on the shoulder and says “Nice run Nick, but it’s all over.” I suspected the day had to come sooner or later. I carried the postcard into the dining room and laid it in the middle of the table with big ASHI logo still facing up. For years ASHI had lost ground by treating its members like just another number (no benefits whatsoever). The front of this postcard, designed to be a slap in the face to its members, depicted a movie theatre “Admit One” ticket on a background of numbers. Surely if they were so cocky as to spit in the face of their own members with this “You’re just another number at ASHI” theme on the front of this post card, it must only be because the back of the postcard announced something so fantastic that it would make every inspector join them anyway. I couldn’t bare the thought of turning it over to learn what the inspection world would be from now on, but I knew it would be a totally new world. None of that old, stupid “We did something in 1976” bull ****". I tried to turn it over to read it but my hands were trembling. My heart was pounding. I couldn’t do it. I knew that ASHI couldn’t possibly be sleeping all these years, watching as InterNACHI gobbled up the whole industry, the whole world for that matter. ASHI certainly was secretly working, working to get it all back from InterNACHI in one big swoop. What could it be? What did we miss? What did we forget? We built the best inspection association in the world, thousands of websites, hundreds of millions of hits, a huge message board, chapters in 43 countries and 9 languages, free online education, a commercial SOP, free websites for members, free hosting, free online inspection agreements, a sister indoor air quality association, a sister online TV show, an automated phone notification system, books dedicated to promoting InterNACHI members, promotions in 50,000 retail outlets, booths at hundreds of shows, insurance discounts, software discounts, search engine optimization, legal forms and help, tons of free stuff, a free report uploading system, moveincertified.com, a huge mall full of deals and free stuff for inspectors, marketing tools the likes of which have never been seen! What did we forget? Perhaps they were going to release 2,000 saved up membership benefits all in one day, doubling our 1,000 free membership benefits. My heart was pounding louder. I poured myself a stiff drink and then another and then another. My heart was racing faster and faster. My face was white. My head was dripping with sweat. What had they been working on? It was time to find out. Time to see what we we’re up against. Time to find out what it was they were announcing that would keep me working day and night to catch up. There would be no time off this year. No sleep. No food (well, maybe some food ). I sat down. I knew this had to be the near knock-out punch… not that old “ASHI was established by a dedicated group of home inspectors back in 1976” crap that no one cares about. This would be the future, not the past. So I sat down, took a deep breath, let it out… and I did it. I turned the postcard over and read the big new announcement that would change everything from here on out. It read:
“ASHI was established by a dedicated group of home inspectors back in 1976”
Huh?
Oh well, I’m 1/2 drunk now and laughing MAO at myself for getting all worked up over nothing. It’s Saturday… I think I’ll go out and celebrate.
InterNACHI… resistance is futile www.nachi.org/success.htm
