I've translated aSHI President Bruce Barker's recent open letter. LOL

bruce-barker

In a January 1, 2021 open letter from aSHI’s new President, Bruce Barker, he explains that aSHI is being totally remodeled this year. I pulled excerpts from it and translated what he said:

“We have stripped ASHI down to its foundation. We are remodeling ASHI on this strong foundation. This remodeled ASHI will be a formidable force for excellence in the property inspection profession.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: aSHI sucks so we threw everything out and are starting all over again. We aren’t a force for excellence but we hope to be one someday.

“Most of the ASHI remodeling project to this point has involved components that are concealed behind the drywall. Most of these components are of interest only to those involved in running ASHI, so I will not bore you by describing them.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: We haven’t really done anything and so we are concealing this fact by telling you that it would bore you.

“One of the remodeling projects that is interesting is the upgrading of the ASHI culture.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: Bla, bla, bla. We aren’t doing anything of substance because we spend all of your membership money on suing Nick Gromicko, so we are announcing an “upgrade to our culture.” I like using groovy buzzwords when I have nothing to announce.

“ASHI is acquiring up-to-date education development and delivery platforms. Using these platforms, ASHI is developing new courses that will incorporate modern adult education practices.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: We haven’t even acquired the platforms yet, so don’t hold your breath. But keep paying your dues to aSHI while you wait, you stupid idiots.

“ASHI will obtain state continuing education credits for as many courses as possible.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: I like to make big promises. But until I fulfill them, go to InterNACHI. Their courses are accredited and free. Here is the link: www.nachi.org/approved

“In fact, ASHI intends to help chapters obtain state credits for chapter education events.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: It’s always safe to announce that “we intend to help.” I love to announce that we intend to help do stuff that we never do.

“Remodeling ASHI education is a long-term project, and it will take longer than one year to show significant results.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: Nothing will get done in 2021 and I’ll be out of office by then. Hee hee.

“Remodeling ASHI involves innovative new projects that will make ASHI membership so valuable that joining and remaining in ASHI will be a no-brainer. Stay tuned for important announcements.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: Stay tuned for important announcements because we don’t offer anything now that makes anyone want to remain a member of aSHI, except for a few stupid idiots.

“Remodeling ASHI involves establishing professional, business-like management systems, putting a good team in place to implement those systems, and developing a value proposition that will make most inspectors want to join ASHI.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: It’s been almost 50 years and aSHI still doesn’t have professional systems or a good team in place to implement those systems, and it doesn’t have a value proposition that makes inspectors want to join aSHI. But we’ve only been at this for half a century, so give us some more time.

"Headquarters staff is changing to bring on the talent and skills that ASHI needs. - Bruce Barker

Translation: By “changing” I mean that we spent so much money suing Nick Gromicko and his family that we had to let go of our long-time Marketing and Education Directors and replace them with people who will work for much less. We’re broke.

“The probability of success in this environment is high.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: Bla, bla, bla. aSHI has not accomplished anything, and I don’t want to promise that we will, but I can say with 100% certainty that we might because of the environment… maybe.

“Planning, focusing, and doing is how we will get things accomplished in 2021.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: Bla, bla, bla. Don’t forget to send in your aSHI membership dues, you stupid idiots.

“Our challenge is to continue to build on this strong foundation, and to create an organization that provides its members, and the public, with the professional services that they need.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: And it’s a challenge because we are down to our foundation. Had to get rid of everything else as none of it provided any services that anyone needs." We’re buffoons.

“With your help, we will build an ASHI that we can all be proud of.” - Bruce Barker

Translation: We had a 20-year head start on InterNACHI and lost. How does someone lose a race with a 20-year head start? OMG, how embarrassing. Anyway, the aSHI logo is the inspection industry’s symbol of shame. And, again, we’re buffoons.

“As The Word says: “I don’t live on Mt. Olympus.” I don’t have all the answers…" - Bruce Barker

Translation: Uh, aSHI sucks, we haven’t done anything about it, we’ve abandoned everything and are “remodeling” this year. Don’t ask me any questions. I don’t even know the difference between Greek mythology and the Bible.

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That’s the best read on this forum all year!!! I know we are only into the year by four days but what an excellent post.

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LOL. I’m going to be sorry when they’re gone.

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Excellent translation, Nick! It brings back memories of my former life when I sat on an acquisition team reading the BS pro forma’s of failing companies.

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Nice interpretation to a bunch of political mumbo jumbo.
Cracked me up.

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LOL. I had fun translating it.

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this is great

Visual translation…

Abandoned-House-cropped

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^^^^^^^^^^We speak house.^^^^^^^^^^ LOL!

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LOL. I remember that. That’s their tagline: “We speak house.” I modified it…

“We speak house, we climb ladder, we fall go boom, Oooga Booga!”

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Just tryin’ to make this forum a little fun. :slight_smile:

When I first started in this business a$HI was the cat’s ass, back then they ruled the sky… no one could have ever predicted how far they would fall.

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I read his entire message. It came across as desperate and uninspired. Also what did he mean by saying: As The Word says: “I don’t live on Mt. Olympus.” The only “the word” I place in caps is the Bible; and I don’t believe that statement is in there. Even if it was, that would not be scripture I would quote to end my new year’s address to my members. Pathetic!

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Nick,

Where did you lean to speak “Politician”? I see a career change in your future, Governor.

I agree with Scott, but for personal reasons. I’ve spent years trying, on my own like a fool, to figure out what “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with GOD” really meant. The line actually haunted me. Then I finally got it. I had a theory, at least. I couldn’t wait to tell the world. Only there was one problem… everyone already figured it out long before me. LOL. Anyway, when he finished with that and his Greek mythology blab, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t find anything about aSHI that I respect. And like his predecessors before him, this new president continues to sue me and my family. One could accurately describe aSHI as simply a mechanism to siphon money away from inspectors, give them nothing in return for their money, and then use their money to perpetually fund a lawsuit against Nick Gromicko, personally.

aSHI is a bunch of scumbags.

Hey Nick. Next time I venture out West on vacation, I’ll have to stop in Boulder for a Bible study with you. No Greek mythology though!

I tell any HI when the question comes up, that there are many ways to compare InterNACHI and ASHI, but I like to reduce things to the lowest common denominator when I can. Hands down, no comparison, not debatable in any serious way, you get way, way more bang for your buck with InterNACHI and that settle it for me.

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Scott, I’d love to.

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I got here pretty close to the beginning and the one thing which has always stood out over the years is the simple fact of NACHI being the value play, it don’t take a genius to see that. Somehow though a$HI didn’t understand the market, their members or where the profession was headed, the rest is history.

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Their own sleaze did them in. They’re scumbags.