How about this?
Dancing through your home inspection
Buying a home is serious business and involves many people doing different things. One of the most important things to do when buying a home is to have a home inspection.
Home inspectors come in all shapes and personalities, some are all business and will note minute details and give you a report longer than than a congressional hearing, some will be more concise and give you just the important things you need to know when buying a home, you may get a report shorter than a Kardashian marriage,
Most inspectors will try their best to anticipate your needs. I say a home inspection is a lot like dancing and here’s what I mean.
Rock and Roll Home Inspection
This is where the inspector loudly crashes around and make everything a dramatic announcement like “this water heater may blow up at anytime and fly up through the roof ending up in Cleveland if the wind is right!” A Rock and Roll inspection has drama, grand statements and hyperbole at its core. You would likely Shimmy through this inspection.
Polka Home Inspection
Oompah, oompah is the case with a Polka Inspection. Your home inspector would be going round and round in circles happy as a clam with nothing to do but smile and make general comments, many having nothing to do with your home. Flared skirts and Lederhosen are worn for a Polka Inspection, don’t forget your suspenders.
Tango Home Inspection**
Ah the Tango inspection, this is where you follow the home inspector like your tied to the hip, close, passionate and possessive. Tango inspections require a flair for the dramatic and wearing tight pants or a slit skirt may allow an occasional flash of bare skin which helps ensure that buying your home will not only be emotional, but occasionally sexy as well.
**Waltz Home Inspection **
Waltz inspections are orderly and respectful, you start slowly and evenly move around the property, respectful but determined moves allow for time to observe and take in the surroundings, there’s no drama, no hurry, no anxious and unsure moving. Waltz inspections get the job done in a reasonable amount of time affording the inspector and buyer a respectable ballroom finish.
There are more types of inspection dances like disco, clogging, ballet or the more recent twerking, I don’t think this inspector is ready to twerk with the buyers, but your the customer and you get to pick the dance.
Its serious, try to appreciate the inspection experience.
Paul Lesieur/ http://silvertreeinspections.com/