Need help writing new descriptions

Need some help with wording for some of the foreclosure houses I’ve been in lately. Let me run a few by you guys to see what you think.

Uneven areas doesn’t really begin to describe the conditions present in the house - it reminded me of the Funhouse at a Carnival, or maybe the last time I was really drunk. No scratch that, I’ve never been drunk enough to make the floors feel that uneven. On the plus side, if you can’t rent it out for someone to live in, it could double as a skateboard park, or haunted house. Just a thought.

This house is quite possibly the moldiest, firetrap, piece of crap I’ve ever had the displeasure of inspecting. If I were you, I wouldn’t walk away - I’d run!

There is nothing wrong with this house that a match, or a stick of dynamite wouldn’t fix. It’s the perfect opportunity for the investor who owns his own bulldozer.

Let me know what you guys think, any suggestions would be helpful…:wink:

How about a simple “abandon the place”?? =)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words … and I’m a lazy s.o.b. :smiley:

I like mine better. :mrgreen:
Most of the investors I work with would rather hear what I really think.
That is what they pay me to tell them. When there’s no emotion involved, you don’t have to sugar coat things.

I would not use fire trap & match in the same report :stuck_out_tongue: