Racoons in Chimney

Beware of critters when you open the chimney cleanout door. I’m glad they were too surprised to get loose into the basement.

No one responded to your cute racoons so I will…AHHHHHHH!!! How cute!

Last year, I opened a chimney flue with my head stuck inside the fireplace. A racoon the size of a bear cub was 2 feet from my face. Scared the life out of me and I did a quick drop-and-roll to get out of there. The homeowner had to pay $400 to have it removed by animal control.

My brother-in-law had two that got stuck and died in his . . . they kept smelling something funny, couldn’t figure it out . . . when they did, about $500 to extract . . . can’t imagine seeing them alive . . . I’m not sure if my pants would be dry . . . be careful out there.

Wow, $400 and $500 to have them removed. At $325.00 for a home inspection I guess I’m not charging enough.

My client was a “little old lady” and I felt bad for her. I kept banging on the cleanout door during the inspection till the racoons climbed out the chimney and scruied down a tree that was too close to the roof. Then I covered the top of the chimney flue with a scrap of plywood and paint cans. (The flue was no longer being used.) All for no charge!

Yup, we’re not charging enough

$400 - book of matches. That’s what I call low overhead! hmmm do you have to be certified?

Jim Bob’s roast coon:

Ingredients: Coon

Procedure: 1)If coon found in chimney, post lookout at chimney with burlap sack
2) Procure wood and kindling, and build fire in fireplace.

  1. Continue feeding fire until coon attempt escape at top, capture in burlap bag.

  2. Fatten coon on corn for one month

  3. Humanely put coon down, skin, gut, and remove head, tail and feet. Place hide apart for coonskin hat.

  4. Rinse coon, and toss in pot of boiling water. Boil for 30 minutes.

  5. Remove coon from water, pat down, and inject with your favorite coon marinade.

  6. Place taters and carrots around coon in a large baking pan, and cover with heavy duty aluminum foil. Salt and pepper as desired.

  7. Place coon in oven and bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.

  8. Remove coon from oven. Serve with buttermilk buiscuits and redeye gravy.:mrgreen:

MMMM!! MMMM!! Now, thet thar is sum guuuuud suthurn redneck cookin’!

Coon Poop!



Thought that was a new kind of cricket