Originally Posted By: rschuemann
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I’ll try to keep this as terse as possible but I’m still fuming. Chalk up one agency I’ll never get a reference from, the Batmobile was in the driveway in all it’s glorious signage.
It was a bit after noon & I was almost done mowing my front yard. The house next door went up for sale yesterday. A Lincoln Nagivator pulls into the neighbor's driveway & out pops the listing agent.
This lady surveys the lawn at the same time I'm powering down the mower & heading toward my garage. She starts hollering at me to stop & approaches me complaining about the condition of the neighbor lawn. At this point all I can think is 'wtf is this lady's problem?' She's ranting on about how she's got some potential buyers arriving in 15 minutes to look at the place & the lawn is a mess. It took a bit to convey to her that if she didn't stfu & get off of my property I was going to call the Sherriff's Dept.
I can't describe the look on her face when she realized I wasn't some vagrant hired to do lawn care, who the heck showers, shaves & dresses up to do yard work? Although I must add that the long gray ponytail does add to the image but I'm half Native American & that's a whole 'nother issue. Apparrently she had been told that the same lawn service that did the other neighbor's lawn was supposed to do the mowing. Anyway, the look did not contain one shred of embarrassment.
Instead, she launches into some gibberish about could I please go inside or go away for an hour or so because her clients were very conservative, this was a slam dunk sale, I didn't convey a good look for the neighborhood, etc. I just put on my 'Dangerous Psycho' face & told her to get off my property!
Something inside me gets downright evil in these kind of situations. I went in the house, put on all my biker leathers, headed back to the garage & right after I started my Harley the buyers showed up in a pearl Caddilac Escalade. I rolled the Hog into the drive, hit the GD remote & made a show of retying my hair into an unruley ponytail. Popped on the brain-bucket, I just happened to have the tinted visor on it, & anonymously stared at the buyers. About my age, 50's, they were both in their Sunday go to meeting clothes. The man was obviously former military. I sat there looking at them as I revved the V-Twin a few times. Gimme a break, Harleys are notoriously cold blooded & need a few minutes to warmup. She did ask me to leave didn't she?
I had them, the woman had a look of paranoia, the man a look of righteous disgust & the agent a look of homicidal rage. I waited for them to get in the house before I rolled down my drive & as I passed the Escalade I blipped the throttle hard & sure enough the alarm went off.
It takes about 4 minutes to circle the neighborhood & as I was coming back around the prospective buyers were hurriedly leaving.
I rolled into my drive as the listing agent ran into my drive screaming all sorts of obscenities in my direction. I pulled off my helmet & I just smiled at her. When she got to the part about sueing me I just happened to have one of my lawyer's cards handy, imagine that, & I handed it to her & said "I have nothing more to say, please communicate through my attorney." Parked the bike & closed the garage door.
Where the heck do these agents come from? Wouldn't have wanted to have those folks for neighbors anyway.
So let's see if anyone can top this one.
Let's have your nominations.
p.s.; I have already fired off letters to the local board & the corp office of the agents affilliation.