So, "Jack" calls me...

…at least that’s what he said his name is. He can guarantee me that he can put me on the first page on Google.

And I said, “Jack, Jack, Oh, Jack…Do have any idea how many of these calls I get every day?”

Jack: " I know–there’s a couple thousand companies…"

Me: “Jack, suppose only ten percent–200 companies–could actually deliver. There is no room for 22 on the first page. Somebody is lying.”

Jack: “We are the only company that has an exclusive contract with Google to make this guarantee…”

Me: "Wait up here a minute. Even if that were so, I am not going to be your only client. I’m not going to pay you guys $500,000 a year so five of you can have a $100,000 salary. So, in order to make payroll your company is going to have to promise more…and more. More than can ever be on the first page of Google.

And in order to support everyone you have to lie to someone–and it ain’t gonna be me. Goodbye, Jack."

Besides, if I paid them $500,000 a year I’d be broke in 20 years.

So why am I worried, I probably won’t live that long anyway.

I get those calls too

Everyone does…
And do you buy into their proposal?

I got one two a month ago. Only $150 a month. But like Jae said, only room for ten on the front page. :slight_smile:

Ten on the page…$150 each month…let me see…hmmm…carry the two…multiply by Marcels’s age…

That comes up to $1500 a month ($18,000 a year). I guess that could sustain any SEO company.

I’ve had three so far just today.

The lady asked for the person who manages our computers.

I told her I don’t use computers.

That’ll keep her up all night trying to figure out how I got on the internet if I don’t use computers.

And, oh, yeah…“Scott” called…he also is the only one who can make a guarantee.

Been a busy day on the phone…but not for anything productive.

It’s getting hard to sell a house to someone who doesn’t have a job…or is just about to lose the one he’s got.

I dont think I have ever heard their proposal. I hang up as soon as I know it is a sales call.

The last one I had kept me on the phone for over 15 minutes. He said he had looked and was on my Website and could guarantee me on goggle first page.
After I finally found out what it costs, I told him why should I pay him that kind of money when I am already on the first page. He did not know what to say. I said thank you I don’t have a job right now and can’t afford it anyways.
They are persistant. :slight_smile:

If that isn’t a statement…

I just ask if they have a current copy of the Federal “do-not-call” list. The stammer, than I ask them for the exact name and address of the company (most are just boiler room call centers). They stammer further, then I ask to speak to their supervisor.

They usually hang up.

And I thought I would never use the reject phone # feature on my phone. It’s the best feature on it.

Then you get the e-mails:

Good morning Linas,
My name is Stacie Ashby I am the Sales advertising consultant in the Chicago, IL area and I am looking to feature a home inspection company in front of the 85,654 active home buyers who searched our site in the** last 30 days**. You would be branded as the Local expert for home inspections in Chicago, IL. We currently have no home inspection companies to direct out traffic to in Chicago. I will be contacting all home inspection companies in the area until we fill the vacancy on our portal. Please give me a call and I can give you a Homes.com tour and show you how people find us and how we can direct them to you.

Respectfully,
[FONT=Arial]**[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial] [FONT=Lucida Handwriting][size=4]Stacie H. Ashby
Account Executive
** Homes.com**
(757) 351-8532
[FONT=Arial] ashbys@homes.com[/FONT]
[/FONT][/size][/FONT] [FONT=Arial]“A man who stops advertising to save money is like a man who stops a clock to save time.” - Henry Ford*[/FONT]*

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]Today…[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]Dear Manager:[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]We are a Network Service Company which is the domain name registration center in Shanghai, China. [/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]On August,30th,2010, [/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]We received HUATAI Company’s application that they are registering the name “cbchomeinspect” as their Internet Trademark and “cbchomeinspect.cn](http://cbchomeinspect.cn/)”,“cbchomeinspect.com.cn” ,"cbchomeinspect.asia"domain names etc.,It is China and ASIA domain names.[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]But after auditing we found the brand name been used by your company. As the domain name registrar in China, it is our duty to notice you, so I am sending you this Email to check.According to the principle in China,your company is the owner of the trademark,In our auditing time we can keep the domain names safe for you firstly, but our audit period is limited, if you object the third party application these domain names and need to protect the brand in china and Asia by yourself, please let the responsible officer contact us as soon as possible. Thank you![/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

Kind regards

[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][size=3][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial]Angela Zhang[/FONT][/size]
[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]Angela Zhang[FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial Narrow][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]

[FONT=Arial][size=2][FONT=Arial][size=2][FONT=Arial][size=2][FONT=Arial][size=2][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][size=2][FONT=Arial]Registration Department Manager [/size][/size][/size][/size][/size]
3002, Nanhai Building 854.Nandan Road
Xuhui District, Shanghai
Office: +86 216296 2950
[/FONT]
[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]

Wow these guys are really popping up all over the place now! And the bold lies. If they say they have an exclusive guarantee with Google, tell them you’d like their business name and address so you can report them to Google for false advertising as no one has that guarantee (for obvious reasons). At least most of you can say ‘I’m already on the first page ;)’

Brings a new meaning to the name " MAGIC JACK" ! :smiley: :D:shock: