Sometimes you win-sometimes you lose


by Gregory K. Thomas]( on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 12:37pm

…To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket… The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason… My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, – on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime… I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,

AlexSee More

I’m don’t know if it’s true or not, but it certainly represents JUSTICE.


Don’t know either, but I do know I have read this exact “ad” many times over the last few years.

Good link Joe Ferry, I also suggest using another site
both work very well.

whether true or not, it make me laugh every time I read it :smiley:

Regardless I bet there is some truth to this story.

Two years ago a good friend of mine was fueling up at a truck stop and a guy came up to him asking for directions. He immediatly was suspicous because they were on the toll road heh. Just as he goes to tell the guy to drive to the next ramp and ask for directions the guy goes to pull out a gun. Well before the guy got the gun up he already had a mouth full of knuckles. The police were called on my buddy for kicking this guys *** all over the parking lot. Luckily there was a good citizen that whitnessed the bum with the gun trying to mug him. The cops asked my buddy what he hit him with. He responded “at first it was my fist, then my boots did the rest”.

This was actually even better because I already heard about the indecent from his dad 2 weeks prior to him even mentioning it to me. They pulled trailers together. I found it funny that he didnt bring it up for 2 weeks and we talk several times a week.