Never argue with an idiot. Onlookers will never know which one is which.
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Proposed Corollary: Don’t assume too quickly another person is an idiot. In doing so, you may misidentify the idiot.
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Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt 
There seems to be some debate whether this is Mark Twain or Abraham Lincoln. In any case, it’s REALLY good advice!
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“You can fool some of the people some of the time – and that’s enough to make a decent living.”
― W.C. Fields
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That is some posts on this forum…But, hey, we’re trying to help out, here.
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Confucius says… “man who jumps turnstile is going to Bangkok”
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Man who farts in church must sit in own pew
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That is for sure, if you can. 
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I read the Subtle Art and it is good. His other one (Everything’s F-ed) is really good as well.
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Oh, it’s not “kick them in the balls and upper cut to the nose”?
I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.
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“If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.” Mark Twain
May apply to report writing?
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Be kind all strangers! You never know when you will be one.
My story begins on June 15 1953. I was born January 14 1953
This day my mother, father and grandmother got kill by a passenger train in Tampa Florida.
They look over the wreckage for me but my body was nowhere to be found. It was broadcast all over the radio… Where is the baby! Two days later I was found with one of my aunt’s.
Well! As I was told by eye witnesses later in my life. My mother was nearly cut in half and my father dragged himself over to her and laid his arms across her and said to her. I love you and then they both passed away!
I was given to my other grandmother who had married another and had a son by my step grandfather. My step grandfather and my step uncle didn’t really like me a lot. Even thought I was just a baby. They were too old to deal with an infant so, they put me in an orphanage run buy the Mennonites. I’m glad they did.
I stayed in the home until I was about 9 years old. When I was put back with my grandmother … by the way she treated me good, but not my step grandfather or his son.
I left and hit the streets of Ybor city in Tampa. I made me a shoeshine box at the boys club and started to make money on the streets. I’d make more money on the weekend than most grown men made in a week.
I wasn’t all good thought. I didn’t want to go back home to the abuse , So I made my home with cardboard boxes near the RR tracks… I remember this until this day.
I had found a very cute little puppy. We were nice and warm in the boxes. I knew I had to hide the shoeshine money so one would take it from me like that had done before. But about 2 am in the morning the gang had found me. I gave the all the money I had , but they wanted more. I had no more. The got my little puppy and slit its neck and through it back in my box. I sit with its blood all over me and cried like a little baby. The little dog was all I had at that time.
Yes! As you can imagine I had hate all over me for very many years.
Then one day I meet a little blond girl . I was about 13 and she was 11. She showed me love and I have never been the same again. She pick a very hard nut to crack…Yep! And now we have been together for over 55 years.
Be kind to strangers! You never know when you will be one!
Mother and Fathers Grave
My shoeshine box
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The pedantic police come to say the correct attribution appears to be, not Twain but Blaise Pascal and John Locke. From “Lettres Provinciales” written in the year 1657:
Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte
Source: If I Had More Time, I Would Have Written a Shorter Letter – Quote Investigator®
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Wow Roy that is quite a story, thank you for sharing.
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