I’ll teach you how to make a bed (army style), where you can bounce a quarter off of it.
I’ll personally give you a GI haircut and a close shave (Old school barber).
I’ll tell you the only joke that I know (So funny, it’s the only joke, you’ll ever want to know).
I will teach you how to be a Redneck (Seriously).
… and that’s not all …
You’ll see firsthand - me tell a foreigner to speak English or go back to his country.
At every red light, we will smoke the vehicles beside of us (Guaranteed Results).
… But wait it gets even better …
We will go on an actual home inspection together, and you get to make history, being with The Home Inspector himself and together we leave the clients in a better position than they were before we inspected their new home.