Give me your description of what a HI does?

Let me know what you tell a person When they ask - what is it that you do in a home inspection and how you would word it for a customer?

Eragorn, why don’t you tell us what you tell a person when they ask that question and then we will go from there to help you if it sounds like it needs to be modified.
There are 6,000 versions for that question.

Marcel ;):):smiley:

Definition: “One who sits at home and thinks of ways to get people to hire us.”

Marcel- the question states “your” description,

What the heck Joe? you dont get much business with that answer do ya?


You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar! Marcel has a very good point!! Why do you ask this question?

I walk around take a few pictures and tell you whats wrong with what you’re tryin’ to buy. I put it in a report and am held liable for years. :roll:

That’s so funny!!! :twisted::twisted:

:lol: :lol:

“A home inspection is a high-liability,
in-depth, multi-disciplined technical analysis
of the home conducted under adverse circumstances
in front of a demanding audience,
requiring the generation of an incredibly detailed
written report prepared in an unrealistically short
time frame for an inconceivably low fee.”



       That hits the nail right on the head! Good Lord. Everything I thought but couldn't put it into words!

All of the above. :mrgreen:

Yes that one has been around a while ,and is perfect.

Now say it with George Carlin’s voice.

A home inspector is one who reports his observations of the existing condition of a home, including its systems (electrical, plumbing, hvac).

This one always get’s my clients. I simply tell them my expertise and inspection fee could potentially save you from closing on a unforseeable bill worth thousands. Soon after most usually book.

Kind of like a proctologist for a house - we probe in areas most homeowners don’t want to go-

I have heard that phrase all my life…and I have always wondered–

What would you do with the flies when you catch them?

This is from an old introductory speech I had seen.

I am here to inspect the home in order to help you understand as much as possible about what is important to you and to let you know right now that a home inspection is as much an art as science not all problems are readily apparent but sometimes the hidden issues leave clues if you’re with me you will have a better understanding of the home and how to maintain it and I can answer your questions during the inspection You may interrupt and ask questions anytime .


A fly is high in protein. If you are ever in the wilderness you can survive on them alone as they also have sufficient moisture in them. Here are some popular fly dishes.

Main Courses:
Fly Flambe
Corny Flie (similar to corny dogs)
Floating Fly Soup
Barbecue Fly Wings (Like Buffalo Wings)
Sweet and Sour Fly
French Flied Fly

ShoeFly Pie
Chocolate Covered Flies
Fly Splits

Query: Give me your description of what a HI does?

My Answer: Gets on an industry message board and blasts Nick.

Did I win?