First, I should state that the reason for this post and the not-so-thinly veiled hostility to follow has nothing to do with your incompetence as an inspector (as much as that alone would justify this), but more importantly for taking me away from my weekend activities to answer emails concerning topics that were already covered by our expertly crafted report, and subsequently having to write this….
You see, when an agent that feeds you referrals asks you to render an opinion on another home inspector’s report (ours), you should simply walk away and clearly explain the following…
- I was not present during their inspection and therefore I have no firsthand knowledge of their inspection methods nor the conditions/limitations that existed on the date/time of their inspection.
- My evaluation is limited in scope and is not a home inspection as defined under Florida law, and more importantly you should see item #3.
- Neither their inspection report nor their client’s real estate contract recommended an evaluation of these conditions by a home inspector representing the seller’s interests. They recommended an evaluation by an appropriately licensed stucco/siding contractor.
- Lastly you should explain to them that you need time to research the inspection company you’re about to contradict, in the event they’re way smarter than you.
The last sentence in item #4 is critically important because…yes…we’re smarter than you are, and I don’t say this out of vanity, but because your level of stupidity simply cannot be our fault. You had practice. Lots of it. The bar has been raised.
One of our findings was on a section of the roof that could only be accessed by physically walking the roof. A roof so steep that most inspectors in their right mind would not have walked it. Unfortunately for you…we did. Arguably we may not be in our right mind but that’s a different discussion for another place, and at a date when I have time to explain that you’re wrong about that as well.
In the case of this roof. even a drone would only give you a distant and limited view of this area, and a ladder couldn’t be used at the roof edge as this area was around a blind corner …at you know…a location that could only be viewed up close and personal by…ummm… walking the roof.
Now as bad as your evaluation of a largely concealed area was, your unobstructed analysis of what was clearly visible/accessible under the soffit is comical and I have a few questions for you…
- Do you even know what water intrusion into/behind stucco looks like? If the bulging, differential crack movement, and black stains leaching from the cracks aren’t a dead giveaway, you need professional help outside of this conversation.
What on earth about this write-up…
*“The following stucco conditions were observed at the left side of the front door:
Stucco above the gutter is stained and cracked.
- Kick-out flashing above the gutter is inadequately sealed.
- Scanning moisture meter readings were taken at the walls below the gutter and compared to known dry areas and were found to be excessive.
Cracking, staining, and excessive moisture readings may be an indication of sub-surface damage. Suspect inadequately
sealed kick-outs and overflowing gutters to be the source of moisture intrusion. Recommend evaluation/repair of this area by a Stucco Contractor.*
… prompted you to refute our findings in the middle of a real estate transaction (where your opinion is completely invalid) by writing this…
[FONT="]“I inspected the cracks at [FONT="]XXXEditXXX on March 11, 2017. In my professional opinion, the cracks around the house are only surface cracks that could easily be sealed with an exterior latex paint as depicted in items 1, 2 and 4 in the attached photos. Some of the cracks around the house have already been sealed like the one adjacent to the master bathroom window. Picture number 3 depicts damage from and old bracket around the decorative trim protruded out from the window. It would be my recommendation to patch and seal this area. No moisture was detected on the exterior or interior, this would reinforce my statement about surface cracks. Moisture on the exterior surface is not uncommon due to sprinklers high humidity or other weather conditions. I only recommend an evasive inspection if I detected bulging of the stucco which would indicate rotted wood behind the stucco. I did not detect any evidence of that in this house.”[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]Even ignoring this fantasy you may or may not have about sprinklers watering the roof edge penetrations/kick-outs, allow me to hazard a guess about what you really got sucked (literally) into…[/FONT]
[FONT="]The listing agent only sent you a “snippet” of our report in the hopes you wouldn’t notice that there were other stucco issues, and you’d comment only on the cracks that were listed as a maintenance item. Additionally you drew this conclusion based on a report that YOU DID NOT READ? Is this accurate or are you really that brain-dead from the neck up?[/FONT]
[FONT="]Not only were you played for a sucker, but you put your “expert” stamp of approval on the label. I could go conceivably go on for hours with this but you’ve already wasted enough of my Sunday so I’ll leave you with this. Read it TWICE cupcake…[/FONT]
[FONT="]If you EVER insert your opinion into one of our transactions again, I’ll make you [FONT="]Ka[FONT="]nye[/FONT] freakin’ West- famous, and if you ever disrupt my weekend again I will not only make it my new hobby to bend you over publicly. I’ll make ONE phone call and have your name and address. I will then find you, throat punch you in front of your spouse/girlfriend, and I may or may not take your wallet.
[FONT="]This is the place you did not go, to view a condition you could not otherwise[/FONT][FONT="][FONT=Arial][FONT="] see [/FONT] , to render an opinion on a report that you did not read…[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]This is the condition you could not see, because of the place you did not go, to render an opinion on the report you did not read[/FONT]
[FONT="]This is what you should have clearly seen, to lead you to dig deeper, and believe there may potentially be something wrong, in an area you couldn’t see, because of the place you did not go, before rendering an opinion on a report you did not read…[/FONT]
[FONT="]These are the stains from the cracked area you could see, that were under the area you couldn’t see, because of the place you did not go…[/FONT]
[FONT="]I could freaking choke you right now.