Hey, John McKenna…I’m still having some fun with Shemp’s courtroom drama. Here is the next day…
NAHI Lawyer: And your name, sir?
Witness: John Bowman.
NAHI Lawyer: Do you represent NACHI in this matter?
Witness: Not necessarily. If you guys will add the ESOP to your suit, I will throw my weight…and, boy, do I have some weight to throw…right behind your case.
NAHI Lawyer: Now, that is interesting. You are the Executive Director of the National Association of Certified Home Inspectors?
witness: Yes.
NAHI Lawyer: You have been publicly critical of the basic level of expertise regarding the members of your association, is that correct?
Witness: *(http://www.nachi.org/forum/showthread.php?p=189121#post189121) my view that NACHI members, based on the pass rates published by Nick Gromicko, have less than a 50% pass rate on their annual tests. Yes.
NAHI Lawyer: Are you a home inspector?
Witness: Well, not exactly.
NAHI Lawyer: Huh?
Witness: Well, when my state of New York became a licensed state…I was not eligible for grandfathering. I am not licensed to inspect homes in New York, where I live.
NAHI Lawyer: Yet…you supposedly lead an association of certified home inspectors…?
Witness: Yes.
NAHI Lawyer: Of whom you are critical for not having…basic skills?
Witness: Yes.
NAHI Lawyer: Unrecognized by your own state as having the basic skills required to inspect a single home?
Witness: Yes.
NAHI Lawyer: Well, thanks for offering us your support, sir…but we feel you would do us more of a service by representing NACHI.
Witness: But…but…
NAHI Lawyer: That will be all…
Witness: But…but…
Judge: The witness is excused. Please, sir…leave the stand.
Witness: But…you don’t understand…I can help you…
Judge: Bailiff!!!
Gallery: Hey, your honor. Wait a minute.
Judge: Who are you?
Gallery: Ben Kelley.
Judge: And what do you have to do with this case?
Gallery: Nothing. I am just here to help Mr. Bowman. My job is to back him up whenever he takes a shot at the ESOP Committee. I don’t know why. It’s just something I do…
Judge: Sir…Mr. Kelly…
Gallery: Yes, your honor.
Judge: Please stop humping my leg.
Gallery: Yes, your honor.
Witness: C’mon, Ben. Let’s go. I have an idea.
Gallery: Yes, sir.
NAHI Lawyer: Your honor, we would like to call our next witness…*